Saturday, 25 January 2014
Saturday, 18 January 2014
Friday, 17 January 2014
I'm writing from my wee machine, so I'll post Happy by pharrell williams later. I listened to an interview of his in the last week, about being OTHER. If there one box that you want to be put into its The OTHER box. When I was younger, I used to quieten myself to fit to the norms, and sometimes now I still keep quiet just because I'm unsure about how to stand strong, or maybe its habit to stay quiet, epecially around those who are louder.
Things project-wise are moving forward in many positive ways. I've made a new more specific vision book, and next week I have my first sort of business meeting. I have paid towards my debts, I have paid fundamental bits towards my first Ttouch course, but on the other hand, I am struggling to stay connected. Last week, I spent hours researching and writing inspiration into my new yellow book. And I am pleased about the direction its going. But feeling 100% present during the process is becoming a bit of a challenge.
In one way, I feel frustrated, because this is my path, and being 100% present is important to me. Its frustrating to feel like your day has been a foggy dream. I know that I am connecting and others are connecting around me. But at the moment, varying from day to day, my feeling of being present is between 40 and 80 percent.
Swimming helps a lot. I swim because my foot and knee hurt from time to time. On a physical point, its the best way of getting exercise. On a spiritual side, it helps to ground me. After I exercise I feel my feet grounding as I walk. But today, it became apparent to the dad of my second nanny family. Are you ok? I know that I must be looking distracted. So I tell him, the next steps of putting dreams into reality are a bit overwhelming. Which is part of the story.
Some ways people say to stay connected is to sing, crystals and nature for sensitives like me, faith and words from jesus if you're christian. If only they would understand that's gods protection comes by different means.
Today it was a cold tap, water running through my hands. Moments of sensation, and reminder of physical reality to concentrate on.
Saturday, 11 January 2014
Tuesday, 7 January 2014
January week three, january week four. When discussing what my next moves were for the project, the lady I work for suggested I take three big pieces of paper. Labelled November-December, January-February, and March-April. November-December, well it was full of good intentions. Actually strike that, for the first few weeks, it stayed blank, not completely through procrastination, but more that my head was so full with things, it was actually quite calming to see a blank piece of paper.
January-February, is becoming much more purposeful. Managing finances is my biggest challenge. So now that blank piece of paper is full of post-it notes, budgeting out what I should be paying and when, I've never been so strict with myself, but laugh not, it has been first time I have ever hugged a book. Like properly hugged it with joy for all the purpose it contained, for all the hopes of change it contains. For its simple ethos, I hugged it with so much happiness. This book is a foundation in my path. My purpose. Dressage with mind, body and soul by Linda Tellington-Jones. And what I like even more about it, is that it supports connection with scientific backup.
So if I am able to create a project where soul connects between horse and human in different ways. Horse to child, horse to business woman working sixty hours a week, horse to war veteran without a calm nights sleep, and then also re-chanel how the experts connect with their horse, even to competition level. The that's a wonderful full circle. Its an I am because we are on a whole different level. An interspecies level.
In the last months, I've heard a lot of people talk about cultures, traditions, roots. But that can only go back as far as our own social memory. Social memory of rituals and routine, social memories of history books and documentaries. But our roots go back further than we can concieve. At somepoint our roots were in a different environment to concrete and infrastructure, of education and health systems developed on behalf of democracy. On one hand we can look at it all and say well done us. Look how far we've come. On the otherhand, is what we've created really how it should be? Really what is good for us? If we were to look at ourselves through a horses eyes.. a horse who is completely at one with everything, because he is naturally connected, as he is. Would his interpretation of love, be the same as ours? What if his mission was to bring us back to love?