Saturday, 23 November 2013

Epiphany update

So just an update on how things are going. I went with a friend to look at the land for rent, we actually drove right past it, me thinking that this was perhaps too good to be true. Its 1.25 ha, which I estimate at about three quarters of a football pitch, with two small barns, and a small schooling area.

Its was nice to leave with such a good feeling. My friend who visited it with me was also positive, but a week later that seemed to change. It changed from believing to having serious doubts, and a need to bring me into reality. It was the biggest dissappointment to realise that she didn't believe in it anymore. Back on my own again.

The man who wants to rent the land also has his doubts as to the success and longevity of the project, its quite difficult to stay strong in your own path whilst fight through others doubt. I have to admit that its blocked me from thinking forwards for a few weeks. And then thoughts started to dawn on me.

I am going to stay free of negative thinking, and reality checks, because every challenge I come across will bring its own reality check. And I need my positivity intact to overcome it.

I am going to trust that god has brought me this far, and has given me enough signs that this is going to happen. And I have to rest in that and breathe relaxed and confident.

I have to let go of expectations or hopes of who precisely will be there to believe and support me. God/life/love has that covered.

My own fears and doubts are where the finance will come from. But the founders of the horse boy foundation have suggested that I hold awareness evenings by showing the horseboy documentary. So there was light again! And inspiration. So I'm in the middle of organising a first viewing in Amsterdam, and a friend of mine, Leslie Ebony, who is a wonderful spoken word artist will also be performing on the evening, alongside a question and answer session from Rupert Isaacson, founder of the horseboy foundation. Everything else is to be confirmed.

I am also hoping to hold an awareness evening in Scotland, in the Perthire area, more details to follow!

Goodbye world, Hello - Kobi Onyame

Spijt - Akwasi & Rob De Kay

Saturday, 2 November 2013


So these last few months have come with some learnings. I was always told by gran that one good turn deserves another, and to treat others how I would want to be treated myself. And this summer I began really to doubt that. And as with most things when I short circuit, the universe takes it back a key, and shows me kindess in humanity on a micro level. Which was reaffirming to some degrees.
You have to understand that my location moved from the countryside outside of Breda, to Amsterdam, and that's actually a huge change in social climate.  An Ex if mine was from Rotterdam, he summed up some differences quite well. In Breda, if you fall in the street, ten people will run to pick you up, in Rotterdam they will laugh at you (or with you), in Amsterdam, people will step over you and curse you for making them late for an appointment.
So in the summer, because the chemistry of amsterdam does not suit me, I made a decision to draw a line from it.  And now with some distance I can begin to cautiously analyse why the chemistry feels so uncomfortable, this is still an ongoing thought process, and I'm not yet ready to put it to blog yet.
One other decision was made for sure though, I can use my energy and let sensitivity allow me to encourage connections, but those connections don't bring me any support in return towards my own future hopes. But this realisation did, its time to get selfish, its time to take that attention for others, and focus it solely on my own project.
I love music, a few of my peers, David included, are at the top of their game in their sphere. They are Kings of their own. So why am I not Queen of my own?  Music is a form of love, and its path has been walked on and worshipped for thousands of years.  Whilst music is a rock for me, its not my sole purpose. My soul purpose.
My soul pupose has taken a little longer for me to feel confident in pursuing. Mainly because its a path which has taken time to fall into mainsteam, and its still not quite there. But it will be.
My path will be to facilitate the use of horses in order to allow people to find the quiet space inside of themselves again.  This will affect different social groups, and with help of nature,encourage people to find balance again.  Depending on the need of a person, the following shall be used.
The EAGALA model.
The TTouch technique from Linda Tellington-Jones
The Horse Boy method developed by Rupert and Rowan Isaacson.
I  will insert a  link later in the day in which Rupert describes more about the Horse Boy technique.

They say when life gives you lemons; make lemonade. Well I say, why not make margharitas!
                 - Rupert Isaacson